Funeral Mass

I will be attending my first Catholic funeral this week. My mother in law just died from cancer Friday night. Any of you who have read my blog before may remember my previous posts about my in-laws. They were a very big part in my becoming an atheist. Their over the top fundamentalist behavior ensured I would not become a Catholic.

My mother in-law died from ovarian cancer after three years of surgeries, chemo and prayer. I honestly think she thought God would save her. She was such a devoted servant, I can 't imagine she didn't hope for a miracle.

I did not grow up as a Catholic and will admit my exposure to Catholicism is very limited. But, during the last 18 years, I did not gain a favorable impression of it. What I saw was a woman who dedicated her whole life to the church, an anti-abortion activist, so focused she alienated her own flesh and blood.

During her very last visit, and we all knew it would be her last, all she could do was parrot right wing jabs at just about everyone and everything. Never once did she let down her facade of pious self righteousness. It was kinda sad for my children to see this behavior from their grandma and will only remember her last words as being judgmental and negative.

I saw a woman so blinded by faith, she could not see her grandchildren for who they are and not what she thinks they should be. She will not be missed, she was never really here.